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Seven years ago, I was at my local antenatal class preparing for the birth of my firstborn. In my forties and armed with a coloured birthing ball, I looked around and gasped. All the other soon-to-be-mums were at least a decade younger than me. Some were nearly half my age. It briefly panicked me. Would I make any friends? Why did I leave it so late to have kids? Was I doing something wrong? In hindsight, though, I had no reason to worry: your forties is absolutely the best decade in which to have your first child. According to data published last week in The Daily Telegraph, the number of women becoming first-time mothers in their forties has increased in recent years: today, one in 25 UK births is to a woman aged 40-plus. That’s a lot of women just like me, despite the fact that getting pregnant over 35 gets you labelled as someone of “advanced maternal age”. That might sound harsh until you remember that older pregnancies used to be termed “geriatric” – thank God that’s been phased out. I’ve never regretted waiting until my forties, even if I had been trying for children for years by that point. My story is undeniably unique: my partner Alex took his own life while we were doing IVF, but that didn’t stop me from continuing to try to get pregnant. The maternal call was strong, so I decided to carry on with the process using Alex’s frozen sperm. Today I have two beautiful daughters with him: Lola, seven, and Liberty, five. It is an understatement to say I was ready for a baby at 40. I was grounded. Confident. Unlike when I was in my twenties or thirties, I knew exactly who I was and what made me tick. I had life experience. I no longer got FOMO. I didn’t even drink, having been through hell and back to become sober 20 years earlier. My career was fully off the ground, and therapy had helped me identify the family dysfunction I knew to ditch for the sake of my kids. I also wasn’t worried about my body bouncing back after the birth. I just desperately wanted to be a mum. Of course, there are all sorts of advantages to having children in your twenties and thirties. A huge bonus is that you’re simply more fertile. According to research, 31 is the magic age to have a baby – you’re still as fertile as in your twenties, but you also have more money. I’m sure motherhood in your fifties is great, too – although using your own eggs is highly unlikely, unless you froze them at some point before you turned 35. It means that some older mums often turn to donor eggs. Thinking back on my twenties and thirties, I don’t know how I would have managed motherhood. I don’t think I was ready to put my own needs on hold. I can’t imagine how hard it would have been to juggle work and my children, especially with the spiralling costs of childcare. I do accept that there are greater risks inherent in waiting to have kids. Both the quantity and quality of eggs dwindle. The rates of failed fertilisation, miscarriage and birth defects rise with age. There’s also the social pressure that comes with not having children early – you’re forced into endless conversations about the “ticking timebomb” of your fertility, and expected to fend off probing inquiries about your biological clock. The British Fertility Society advises women to start trying for a baby by the age of 32 at the latest, for a 90 per cent guarantee of having a child without resorting to IVF. But this advice simply wouldn’t have worked for me – I was determined to find the right person to have children with, and that didn’t happen until I was 35. When mine and Alex’s attempts to naturally conceive failed, and then Alex died, only at that point did I know I had the maturity to go it alone. I do have some regrets – I wish I’d frozen my eggs at the peak of my fertility in my mid-twenties, for instance (this process costs between £4,000 and £7,000 in the UK). But otherwise, having children in my forties was the right thing to do. Yes, I had my wobbles. I remember sobbing on the bathroom floor after yet another failed pregnancy test. I would berate myself for leaving it so late. I had to force myself to remember that many women experience fertility struggles in their twenties and thirties, too. All of those anxious feelings, though, flew out the window once I had my first child. When I left the hospital to begin parenthood alone, a new bag of nappies in hand, I didn’t have a meltdown. I was just so grateful that I’d had a baby, especially when the odds seemed so stacked against me. Sleepless nights trying to coax my child back to sleep were what I had most desired. It was all so good, in fact, that I went on to have a second child in my forties. I had a spare embryo in a freezer in St Petersburg. Now I call her Liberty. Every day since becoming a mum, I have embraced the mess and chaos, and appreciate every minute. I’m sure my younger self would cringe at the thought of me spending my evenings helping my children with their homework. But I’m proud to say that I’m living my best life. Read More Vanessa Hudgens addresses pregnancy speculation amid Cole Tucker engagement Rachel Bilson reveals she’s suffered multiple miscarriages Pregnant woman has maternity photo shoot in hospital before giving birth Hailey Bieber responds to ‘disheartening’ pregnancy rumours Like Rebecca Adlington, I also lost my baby at 20 weeks Britney Spears reveals she had an abortion while dating Justin Timberlake

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French police are investigating the suspected poisoning of a Russian state TV journalist who denounced Vladimir Putin’s invasion of Ukraine live on air and later fell suddenly ill. Marina Ovsyannikova, who escaped Russia after her on-air protest and settled in France, reported feeling suddenly ill as she left her Paris apartment and was hospitalised after she called emergency services. She said she suspected she was poisoned, the Paris prosecutor’s office said, adding that they were examining her apartment and an investigation was underway. Ovsyannikova, who worked for Russian state television’s Channel One before the war began, drew international headlines in March 2022 when she appeared on screen in the background of a live broadcast by another news anchor and flashed a sign that said: "Stop the war, don’t believe the propaganda, they are lying to you here." She was fined 30,000 roubles (£460) for her protest but continued her opposition to the war. During a subsequent solo protest in Moscow, she held up a poster which read: “Putin is a murderer, his soldiers are fascists.” She was then arrested and put under house arrest in August before she fled along with her daughter in the dark of the night. Media watchdog Reporters Without Borders (RSF), which assisted Ovsyannikova in her efforts to escape a lengthy trial in Moscow and potentially a prison sentence, helped her settle in Paris. Christophe Deloire, director general of RSF, said he met Ovsyannikova after her malaise outside her Paris apartment. Deloire, writing on X, said the possibility Ovsyannikova had been poisoned had not been ruled out, though she was feeling better since the incident. “We have opened an investigation,” a spokesperson for the Paris tribunal prosecutor’s office said by telephone,” he said. “She said she had a malaise.” “All we have for the moment is what she said.” RSF said its team has been ‘’at her side" since she sought medical attention, though they have not disclosed any further details regarding the incident. Earlier this month, a Moscow court sentenced Ovsyannikova in absentia to eight and a half years in prison for spreading false information about the Russian military. Her sentencing was the latest example of Russia’s crackdown on dissenting voices in the country, which has intensified since Russia launched its invasion of Ukraine around 20 months ago. Russia has called its attack on Ukraine a “special military operation” and banned organisations or the media from referring to it as a war or invasion. Read More FA slammed over decision not to light up Wembley in Israel flag colours Russian state TV journalist who spoke out against war live on air recounts daring escape from country Could Putin be arrested? President to leave Russia for first time since international arrest warrant issued

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