LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: The recent death of beloved 'FRIENDS' star Matthew Perry has left the world in mourning.
Perry, best known for his iconic role as Chandler Bing, was discovered lifeless at his Los Angeles home on Saturday, October 28, marking the end of an era for fans worldwide.
Haunting words of struggle and addiction
In the wake of this tragic news, chilling words from the prologue of his memoir, 'Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing', published last year, have resurfaced, casting a haunting shadow on his battle with addiction, according to nytimes.com.
"I should be dead," Perry wrote in a stark admission within the memoir. These words now echo in the hearts of fans as they grapple with the loss of a talented actor who struggled with the "Big Terrible Thing" that was addiction.
In his memoir, Perry delved into the harrowing depths of drug abuse and alcoholism, offering an unflinching glimpse into his personal turmoil. With a dedication "to all of the sufferers out there," the 'FRIENDS' star shared the painful journey of detoxing countless times and spending millions of dollars in relentless attempts to achieve sobriety.
The prologue of the book paints a vivid picture of Perry's time in a sober living house in Southern California. "This was no surprise - I have lived half my life in one form or another in a treatment center or sober living house. Which is fine when you are twenty-four years old, less fine when you are forty-two years old. Now I was forty-nine, still struggling to get this monkey off my back," he wrote.
The memoir's title encapsulates the rollercoaster of Perry's life: "My addiction being my best friend and my punisher and my lover, all in one. My big terrible thing." Perry unapologetically labeled his struggle as a "Big Terrible Thing."
Unveiling the 'big terrible thing'
In the heartbreaking memoir, Perry revisited his time during the filming of 'FRIENDS', shedding light on his experiences both sober and otherwise.
He candidly disclosed a correlation between his weight and addiction, stating, "When I'm carrying weight, it's alcohol; when I'm skinny, it's pills. When I have a goatee, it's lots of pills."
One of the memoir's most startling revelations was that during one period, Perry was consuming a staggering 55 Vicodin pills per day.
His pursuit of these pills led him to employ various tactics, including faking migraines and enduring MRIs with different doctors. Sundays became a ritual of visiting open houses and scouring medicine cabinets in search of any available pills.
For his battle against addiction to Vicodin, methadone, and amphetamines, Perry attended a staggering 6,000 AA meetings, underwent rehabilitation 15 times, endured detoxification 65 times, and was even placed on life support.
The financial toll was equally staggering, with the actor reportedly spending between $7 million to $9 million in his quest for sobriety.
Support beyond the set: 'FRIENDS' cast's unbreakable bond
Perry's 'FRIENDS' cast members, Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Matt LeBlanc, Lisa Kudrow, and David Schwimmer, provided unwavering support during this tumultuous period. Aniston was the first to approach him, followed by the others, expressing their understanding of his struggles.
The memoir provided a glimpse into the depths of Perry's despair, as he confessed, "If I did die, it would shock people, but it wouldn't surprise anybody. And that's a very scary thing to be living with."
Matthew Perry's legacy lives on through his work and the impact he had on countless lives, both as an actor and as an advocate for those battling addiction.
Chilling words from Matthew Perry's memoir echo in fans' hearts
The recent news of Matthew Perry's death has resurfaced haunting words from his memoir, reminding fans of the demons he battled throughout his life.
One Twitter user wrote, "The first sentence in Matthew Perry’s recent book is “I should be dead.” His life was chased by demons and it resulted in sad and tragic setbacks. But he always somehow got back up. Tonight is sad and awful and devastating to hear. May he finally rest in peace."
Another user wrote, "Prologue of Matthew Perry’s Memoir: Hi, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty, And I should be dead. If you like, you can consider what you're about to read to be a message from the beyond, my beyond. Chandler Bing Forever!"
"First paragraph from Matthew Perry's autobiography . RIP. ‘Hi, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead," wrote one.
"'Hi, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead. If you like, you can consider what you're about to read to be a message from the beyond, my beyond.' - Matthew Perry in his #FriendsLoversBook May he Rest in Peace," commented one user.
"Matthew Perry's book begins with: “Hi, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead,"" another user remarked.
One user commented, "“My friends call me Matty and I should be dead” - Matthew Perry. "