J3N Provides the Latest and Most Up-to-Date News, You Can Stay Informed and Connected to the World.
⎯ 《 Just 3 N : New News Now 》
Your forties is the perfect decade to have your first child – I’m living my best life
Your forties is the perfect decade to have your first child – I’m living my best life
Seven years ago, I was at my local antenatal class preparing for the birth of my firstborn. In my forties and armed with a coloured birthing ball, I looked around and gasped. All the other soon-to-be-mums were at least a decade younger than me. Some were nearly half my age. It briefly panicked me. Would I make any friends? Why did I leave it so late to have kids? Was I doing something wrong? In hindsight, though, I had no reason to worry: your forties is absolutely the best decade in which to have your first child. According to data published last week in The Daily Telegraph, the number of women becoming first-time mothers in their forties has increased in recent years: today, one in 25 UK births is to a woman aged 40-plus. That’s a lot of women just like me, despite the fact that getting pregnant over 35 gets you labelled as someone of “advanced maternal age”. That might sound harsh until you remember that older pregnancies used to be termed “geriatric” – thank God that’s been phased out. I’ve never regretted waiting until my forties, even if I had been trying for children for years by that point. My story is undeniably unique: my partner Alex took his own life while we were doing IVF, but that didn’t stop me from continuing to try to get pregnant. The maternal call was strong, so I decided to carry on with the process using Alex’s frozen sperm. Today I have two beautiful daughters with him: Lola, seven, and Liberty, five. It is an understatement to say I was ready for a baby at 40. I was grounded. Confident. Unlike when I was in my twenties or thirties, I knew exactly who I was and what made me tick. I had life experience. I no longer got FOMO. I didn’t even drink, having been through hell and back to become sober 20 years earlier. My career was fully off the ground, and therapy had helped me identify the family dysfunction I knew to ditch for the sake of my kids. I also wasn’t worried about my body bouncing back after the birth. I just desperately wanted to be a mum. Of course, there are all sorts of advantages to having children in your twenties and thirties. A huge bonus is that you’re simply more fertile. According to research, 31 is the magic age to have a baby – you’re still as fertile as in your twenties, but you also have more money. I’m sure motherhood in your fifties is great, too – although using your own eggs is highly unlikely, unless you froze them at some point before you turned 35. It means that some older mums often turn to donor eggs. Thinking back on my twenties and thirties, I don’t know how I would have managed motherhood. I don’t think I was ready to put my own needs on hold. I can’t imagine how hard it would have been to juggle work and my children, especially with the spiralling costs of childcare. I do accept that there are greater risks inherent in waiting to have kids. Both the quantity and quality of eggs dwindle. The rates of failed fertilisation, miscarriage and birth defects rise with age. There’s also the social pressure that comes with not having children early – you’re forced into endless conversations about the “ticking timebomb” of your fertility, and expected to fend off probing inquiries about your biological clock. The British Fertility Society advises women to start trying for a baby by the age of 32 at the latest, for a 90 per cent guarantee of having a child without resorting to IVF. But this advice simply wouldn’t have worked for me – I was determined to find the right person to have children with, and that didn’t happen until I was 35. When mine and Alex’s attempts to naturally conceive failed, and then Alex died, only at that point did I know I had the maturity to go it alone. I do have some regrets – I wish I’d frozen my eggs at the peak of my fertility in my mid-twenties, for instance (this process costs between £4,000 and £7,000 in the UK). But otherwise, having children in my forties was the right thing to do. Yes, I had my wobbles. I remember sobbing on the bathroom floor after yet another failed pregnancy test. I would berate myself for leaving it so late. I had to force myself to remember that many women experience fertility struggles in their twenties and thirties, too. All of those anxious feelings, though, flew out the window once I had my first child. When I left the hospital to begin parenthood alone, a new bag of nappies in hand, I didn’t have a meltdown. I was just so grateful that I’d had a baby, especially when the odds seemed so stacked against me. Sleepless nights trying to coax my child back to sleep were what I had most desired. It was all so good, in fact, that I went on to have a second child in my forties. I had a spare embryo in a freezer in St Petersburg. Now I call her Liberty. Every day since becoming a mum, I have embraced the mess and chaos, and appreciate every minute. I’m sure my younger self would cringe at the thought of me spending my evenings helping my children with their homework. But I’m proud to say that I’m living my best life. Read More Vanessa Hudgens addresses pregnancy speculation amid Cole Tucker engagement Rachel Bilson reveals she’s suffered multiple miscarriages Pregnant woman has maternity photo shoot in hospital before giving birth Hailey Bieber responds to ‘disheartening’ pregnancy rumours Like Rebecca Adlington, I also lost my baby at 20 weeks Britney Spears reveals she had an abortion while dating Justin Timberlake
2023-10-27 13:57
Fans convinced Alix Earle quitting TikTok for rumored reality TV show 'Earles Girls'
Fans convinced Alix Earle quitting TikTok for rumored reality TV show 'Earles Girls'
Speculation is rife that Alix Earle may be moving to TV after quitting TikTok
2023-09-01 14:00
Top US Senate Democrat Schumer shows tentative support for Republican short-term funding bill
Top US Senate Democrat Schumer shows tentative support for Republican short-term funding bill
By Moira Warburton WASHINGTON Top U.S. Senate Democrat Chuck Schumer on Monday expressed tentative support for U.S. House
2023-11-14 05:20
Texas power prices soar as grid passes reliability test in heat wave
Texas power prices soar as grid passes reliability test in heat wave
By Scott DiSavino (Reuters) -Power prices in Texas soared on Friday with electric use expected to hit a record high
2023-09-09 04:16
How Tropical Storm Philippe could muck up weather in the Northeast this weekend
How Tropical Storm Philippe could muck up weather in the Northeast this weekend
Tropical Storm Philippe will interact with a potent cold front this weekend and funnel tropical moisture across the Northeast, raising the risk of flooding rainfall in an area that has been soaked repeatedly in recent weeks.
2023-10-05 01:51
Biden taps Philip Jefferson to be Fed's vice chair, Kugler as first Hispanic on Fed board
Biden taps Philip Jefferson to be Fed's vice chair, Kugler as first Hispanic on Fed board
President Joe Biden has nominated Philip Jefferson, a member of the Federal Reserve’s Board of Governors, to serve as vice chair of the board
2023-05-12 23:26
Sylvester daCunha: Tributes for creator of India's iconic Amul girl ad
Sylvester daCunha: Tributes for creator of India's iconic Amul girl ad
Indian advertising legend Sylvester daCunha has died, leaving a rich legacy behind.
2023-06-22 13:22
Fans thrilled as ‘RHOP’ star Wendy Osefo announces new talk show
Fans thrilled as ‘RHOP’ star Wendy Osefo announces new talk show
'RHOP' star Wendy Osefo has the support of the fans as she starts her own talk show on her YouTube channel
2023-11-14 10:18
Tina Turner feared for her life as she suffered third-degree burns, broken bones during her first marriage with Ike Turner
Tina Turner feared for her life as she suffered third-degree burns, broken bones during her first marriage with Ike Turner
'Sex with Ike had become an expression of hostility — a kind of rape — especially when it began or ended with a beating', recalled Tina Turner
2023-05-26 03:21
Defendant in Tupac Shakur killing case is represented by well-known Las Vegas lawyer
Defendant in Tupac Shakur killing case is represented by well-known Las Vegas lawyer
A man charged with killing Tupac Shakur in 1996 will make his next court appearance with a lawyer from one of the best-known political families in Las Vegas
2023-10-19 09:16
What is Karlie Kloss' son's name? Supermodel confirms birth of second child with husband Joshua Kushner
What is Karlie Kloss' son's name? Supermodel confirms birth of second child with husband Joshua Kushner
'Welcome to the world. 7.11.23,' wrote Joshua Kushner while sharing a photo of the newborn
2023-07-21 01:23
Turkish Lira Sinks, Stocks Gain as Investors Bet on Policy Shift
Turkish Lira Sinks, Stocks Gain as Investors Bet on Policy Shift
Turkey’s currency weakened to a record low amid concerns about external financing needs, while stocks rallied as investors
2023-05-30 23:46