Knowing her limits is a “revelation”, says Dawn O’Porter, something she discovered in her mid-40s. For the former TV presenter and author – her latest book, Cat Lady, which was released in October last year – it’s something she’s had to learn. “I love drinking booze and eating really indulgent food, but I’m also really into health stuff as well,” she says. “I’m one of those people that’s really good – if I go to a party and it gets to 10:30pm [and] I’m not really feeling the booze, I just stop drinking – but I can stay out until two in the morning. I’m able to turn it off, and I don’t overindulge when I’m done – which I think is a real mid-40s revelation. “I know my limits – I go to everything, I do everything, I just stop when I know I’m done.” For O’Porter, 44, who shares two sons, Art, eight, and Valentine, six, with actor husband Chris O’Dowd, becoming a mother helped shift her perspective. “Since I’ve had kids, I know that I’m going to get woken up at six o’clock in the morning – you’ve got to make better decisions,” she says. “Like everybody, if I don’t do the work, I don’t get paid – and I don’t have the luxury where I can’t get paid. I have to be at my desk at 10 o’clock in the morning, and before I’ve got to my desk I’ve had to feed two humans, get them dressed, get them to school, walk two dogs, pull the house together and do all this stuff. “I know now that when I go on a big night out – which I do all the time, I love it – the next day is a write-off, so I can only do that once a week. It used to be three or four times a week, and it didn’t affect me in the same way. “I definitely feel like it’s a great thing to get to an age when you know what you can and can’t handle.” This “willpower” is something she admits she “didn’t used to have”. But dedicating time to her wellbeing is important, as being in your 40s is a “weird time”, she admits. “You know what’s coming – menopause is coming. What are we in for? So I feel like I’m going to do my very best for myself until that happens. It might be fine, it might not – I don’t know.” O’Porter adds: “It feels nice to go into it in the best health you can be. I’m not an exercise person – I get really into Pilates for two months and never do it again – so I’m consistent about healthy food and skincare and all that kind of stuff.” She’s reminded of a speech Kristin Scott Thomas makes about menopause in the BBC black comedy Fleabag, where she says: “It is horrendous, but then it’s magnificent – something to look forward to.” O’Porter adds: “As someone who has had cramps and really suffered for so much of my life, I fantasise about the other side of menopause – it’s like this giant mountain you have to get over. “I might smooth through it and not even know it’s happening, or I might be one of those people who has a very difficult time – I’ve got no idea. I just want to feel good when I go into it. “I do feel like there’s this freedom on the other side – I’ll be rid of all the things that have weighed me down physically for so many years, and be pain-free and happy.” A healthy diet is particularly important for O’Porter, who can’t eat gluten because it causes her “quite severe pain”. She says: “I have to think about food a lot more than people who can eat gluten – I really read packages and all that stuff. And I’m obsessed with my skin – I really try and eat food that’s really, really good for my skin.” Other aspects of her self-care routine include taking supplements (“If somebody says it stimulates collagen, I’ll literally buy 10 of it!”), taking Epsom salt baths and carving out the time to read before bed. “I think that’s really looking after myself, [so] when I have nights where I’m completely hedonistic and start drinking at 10 o’clock in the morning and don’t get home until four, that’s fine. Because I take care of myself the rest of the time, I think my face survives the hangovers and the dehydration.” After 15 years living in America, in June this year, O’Porter and her family moved from Los Angeles to London – and she couldn’t be happier to be back. “There’s quite a transient vibe to LA, because very few people are born and bred there – there are some, obviously, but most people have come out for some sort of work experience they’re having. They either stay or go, and there’s this constant movement of people. “It was hard to imagine getting older there and settling, there was always this feeling of no matter who we’ve got in our lives, they will come and go – and that unsettled me in the last few years.” Back in London, “Everything I do is an investment in the future of living here, which feels really lovely,” O’Porter enthuses. “Every relationship I make – all my girlfriends or my mum friends – everybody is here for keeps.” She’s particularly looking forward to spending Christmas on this side of the world. “I started planning Christmas months ago – where we’re going to be, what we’re going to do, because ultimately, I love hosting it. I love doing the whole thing myself.” She’s hoping to host this year, and foresees absolutely no festive pressures, saying: “It doesn’t stress me out at all, I’d say it’s me at my absolute best. “I cook like Christmas Day on every Sunday for lots of people, I love it so much. I get really into it and I start drinking about 10 in the morning – it makes it more fun – we play Christmas songs and get the wine going early and cook all day.” Plus O’Porter – who is offering shopping consultations in collaboration with Etsy ahead of Christmas – is extremely easy to buy for. “I’m really easy. I genuinely say this from the bottom of my heart – go on Etsy and put in ‘cat’ and you can get me anything, any handmade anything – if it’s got my name on it, even better, with a cat on it. I am so simple.” To find thoughtful gifts for loved ones this Christmas and beyond, head to etsy.com/uk. Read More Everything you need to know about bedbugs as increase in numbers is predicted PE ‘enjoyment gap’ widens for girls: Why it matters and how we can help The psychology of Big Brother: How to survive in the house How to support someone coming out in their 30s and beyond Israel-Hamas conflict: How to talk to teenagers about distressing news stories Autumn décor ideas for a seasonal refresh

Lionel Messi spoke publicly Thursday for the first time since announcing on June 7 that he’d join Inter Miami

Bryan Kohberger is believed to have broken into the home of a female student and then installed security cameras to spy on her in the months before he allegedly killed four other students in a horror attack in Moscow, Idaho. The 28-year-old criminology PhD student had befriended the woman after he moved to Pullman, Washington state, to begin a graduate program in criminal justice at Washington State University (WSU), according to a source. One day, the woman returned to her apartment and found that someone had broken in and moved items around the home – but that nothing was missing. Since nothing was taken, the woman decided not to call the police but instead called her new friend Mr Kohberger and asked him to come over. Mr Kohberger allegedly offered to install a video security system inside her home and the woman agreed. Following its installation, investigators believe Mr Kohberger used the security cameras to spy on the woman as – knowing her wifi password – he was able to tap into the cameras when within close proximity to the apartment. The bombshell allegation was revealed for the first time in an NBC Dateline episode titled “The Killings on King Road”, which reported that Mr Kohberger is now a strong suspect in the initial break-in. Months later, on 13 November, Mr Kohberger is accused of breaking into an off-campus home in Moscow, Idaho, and stabbing to death Madison Mogen, Kaylee Goncalves, both 21, and Xana Kernodle and Ethan Chapin, both 20. Former FBI profiler Greg Cooper told Dateline that the incident was a “step in progression” for Mr Kohberger to move from breaking into a home when no one was in to allegedly breaking in when multiple people were home at the King Road address that deadly night in November. “I would expect that he orchestrated the whole thing, he was not looking at her as a potential victim necessarily,” said Mr Cooper. “But he orchestrated it so that she would come to him and that he would be able to help her. It is another level of power and domination and control over another person. “The hero image that he can portray. ‘You’ve got this problem, I’m here to solve the problem for you and to make it better for you.’” In the Dateline episode, sources also revealed that Mr Kohberger’s sister was growing suspicious that her brother could have been responsible for the murders when the family gathered to spend the holidays together. In mid-December, Mr Kohberger left his student rental home in Pullman, Washington, to travel cross country with his father back to the family home in Albrightsville, Pennsylvania, for the holidays. During his time at home, his family members noticed that he was behaving somewhat bizarrely. The source said that Mr Kohberger was constantly wearing latex gloves, including inside their own home. One of his two older sisters began to wonder if he could have played a part in the murders – and, at one point, she raised her concerns with her other family members. She “loudly pointed out” that, at the time of the murders, her brother was living just a few miles from the crime scene and that he drove a white Hyundai Elantra – the make and colour of vehicle at the centre of the investigation. Along with his bizarre tendency to wear latex gloves at all time, she believed that the family should consider that Mr Kohberger might have killed the four victims, the source said. Mr Kohberger’s father allegedly defended his son and insisted he could not have been involved. But her suspicions were so great that – at one point – several family members searched Mr Kohberger’s white Hyundai Elantra for possible evidence of the crime, the source said. By that point, police said Mr Kohberger had already been spotted cleaning his car out with bleach and so the family members didn’t find anything of note, the source said. It is not clear if Mr Kohberger was aware of his family members’ suspicions that he could have been behind the murders – or what potential prior behaviour may have led his own sister to suspect him capable of carrying out such a brutal crime. Soon after, in the early hours of 30 December, law enforcement swooped on the family home and arrested him for the murders. At the time of his arrest, the source said Mr Kohberger was wide awake standing in the kitchen wearing latex gloves and putting his personal trash in plastic bags to take it out to a neighbour’s trash can. An attorney close to Mr Kohberger’s family declined to comment on the revelations to Dateline. On Monday (22 May), he will appear in court for his arraignment on four counts of first-degree murder and burglary. The 28-year-old is now scheduled to be arraigned in Latah County Court in Moscow, Idaho, where he is expected to enter a plea on the charges. Mr Kohberger had been due to appear in court for a week-long preliminary hearing on 26 June, where the prosecution would lay out the case and evidence against the suspect. However, last Tuesday, a grand jury indicted Mr Kohberger on the charges, paving the way for the case to proceed without and leading to the cancellation of the preliminary hearing. Mr Kohberger is accused of breaking into the student home in the early hours of 13 November and stabbing the four students to death in a horror attack that rocked the college town of Moscow and sent shockwaves across America. The motive remains unknown and it is still unclear what connection the WSU PhD student had to the University of Idaho students – if any – prior to the murders. However, the affidavit, released in January, revealed that Mr Kohberger’s DNA was found on a knife sheath left behind at the scene of the murders. It also revealed that his white Hyundai Elantra was caught on surveillance footage at the crime scene and that one of the surviving roommates came face to face with the killer – masked, dressed in head to toe black and with bushy eyebrows – as he left the home in the aftermath of the murders. New details have also emerged about what was found during an initial search of his apartment and a rental storage unit. The court documents show that two items found in his apartment tested positive for blood. The two items were a mattress cover on the bed and an uncased pillow, both of which had visible “reddish brown stains”. The documents do not reveal who the blood belongs to. Investigators seized a string of other items from his home including possible human and animal hair strands, a disposable glove and a computer. The murder weapon – a fixed-blade knife – has still never been found. As a criminal justice PhD student at WSU, Mr Kohberger lived just 15 minutes from the victims over the Idaho-Washington border in Pullman. He had moved there from Pennsylvania and began his studies there that summer, having just completed his first semester before his arrest. Before this, he studied criminology at DeSales University – first as an undergraduate and then finishing his graduate studies in June 2022. While there, he studied under renowned forensic psychologist Katherine Ramsland who interviewed the BTK serial killer and co-wrote the book Confession of a Serial Killer: The Untold Story of Dennis Rader, the BTK Killer with him. He also carried out a research project “to understand how emotions and psychological traits influence decision-making when committing a crime”. Now, the criminology PhD student is set to appear in Latah County Courthouse in Idaho for his preliminary hearing on 26 June. He is facing life in prison or the death penalty for the murders that have rocked the small college town of Moscow and hit headlines around the globe. Read More Bryan Kohberger – live: Idaho murders suspect faces arraignment over quadruple stabbing today Who is Bryan Kohberger? The criminology graduate being arraigned over the Idaho college murders Four students stabbed to death, a weeks-long manhunt and still no motive: What we know about the Idaho murders

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