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Thanksgiving is only a day away and most Americans have solidified their family plans for the holiday. Whether you’re hosting the big meal or heading to a relative’s house, the holidays are often a chance to reconnect with loved ones. However, Thanksgiving Day isn’t always a family-oriented occasion. Over the years, several studies have found that the seemingly joyous holiday season isn’t always easy for everyone. In a survey conducted by the AARP Foundation in 2017, 31 per cent of respondents said they felt lonely during the holidays throughout the last five years. Meanwhile, 41 per cent of participants were concerned about a family member or friend feeling lonely around the holidays. In 2020, a survey conducted by ValuePenguin also found that 70 per cent of respondents struggled with different types of loneliness before Thanksgiving and Christmas, partly due to the effects of the Covid-19 pandemic. While socially-distanced holiday parties have mostly become a thing of the past since then, there’s still many reasons why some people spend the season by themselves. Some Americans have family members living on the opposite side of the country, or world, while others may not have a close relationship with their relatives at all. There’s no one concrete way to spend the holidays, and everyone has their own reasons why they choose not to see certain people on Thanksgiving. Speaking to The Independent, Emma Mahony, a therapist at Better Life Therapy based in Pennsylvania, acknowledged that, when we spend the holidays alone, our feelings of loneliness can be heightened. While everyone experiences loneliness in a different way, Mahony believes that the feeling could be tied to how Thanksgiving has been portrayed over the years. “I think a lot of the anxieties and concerns that come up have to do with unmet expectations of what you think a holiday is supposed to look like, and what you think your relationship with your family or your friends is supposed to look like,” she said. “I think that’s where a lot of people themselves feel a little bit of a stressful state. Just maybe feeling a little let down by the expectations they have for themselves, after watching other people experience the holidays differently than them.” The holidays are often referred to as the most wonderful time of the year, but that doesn’t ring true for everyone. In some cases, the winter months can be quite a triggering time, and potentially a reminder to people of how they’ve been hurt by those closest to them. According to Mahony, the best way to manage those feelings of animosity is by creating your own perspective about the holidays and new ways to celebrate. “I think you should allow yourself to reframe it as: ‘Okay, how do I want the holidays to look for me? Who are the people that I do want in my life? Who are the people that I don’t want in my life?’” she advised. “Don’t try to make something that shouldn’t happen happen. Instead, recreate your own memories and your own traditions, and give yourself space and permission to do so. But also, if you know that it’s going to be a hard time for you, create that support system, from reaching out to a therapist or to a close friend.” For those who do have a close support system, it can make skipping out on Thanksgiving dinner a little easier. On the other hand, your cousins may miss sitting next to you at the dinner table. Still, Mahony believes we shouldn’t try to convince our family members to attend an event in which they’ve already opted out. “If someone decides they don’t want to be with you over the holidays, respect that choice for them,” she explained. “Don’t make them feel bad for prioritising themselves and their needs. [It] will potentially, you know, make things worse long term. I just honour that everyone needs to do what’s best for them, whether that be financially, emotionally, or physically.” Even if you decide to celebrate Thanksgiving this year without your family, it doesn’t mean that you’re entirely on your own. Mahony suggested setting up a Zoom call or FaceTime with some friends, or planning a fun meal if you’re worried about eating solo. “You could really do whatever you want, so I would set up things for yourself to look forward to,” she said. For those who are spending the holiday alone, but still want to take part in Thanksgiving-related activities, spend the morning or afternoon at a local homeless centre. You can continue the day by hosting a Friendsgiving dinner or movie night with your pals who are still in town. When it comes to food, you can cook a mini turkey for one or ditch Thanksgiving dinner altogether and order take-out at a local restaurant. Then, close out the night with some early Black Friday shopping online or in person. Although this Thursday is indeed a federal holiday, who says the day can’t feel like any other? Ultimately, how you spend Thanksgiving is entirely up to you and there’s no right or wrong way to celebrate the holidays. Remember that you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself for avoiding family during the holiday season. “If Thanksgiving looks different for you year after year, that’s okay. There’s not a specific way to spend the holidays and no family looks the same,” Mahoney said. “If you’re coming to terms with the fact that being with your family for the holidays isn’t what’s best for you, give yourself a little bit of compassion there. “It will get easier over the years, as you figure out how to take care of yourself better.”

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With schools opening their doors again on Monday, both parents and their children could be experiencing a mixture of emotions, including anxiety. Usually during the summer holidays, bedtime routines go out the window, diets may change and day-to-day activities are usually packed with plenty of fun activities. So trying to recalibrate and get back to regular programming isn’t always straight forward, after six weeks away. Here’s how parents and children can beat back-to-school anxiety… What is anxiety? According to the NHS website, anxiety is a feeling of stress, panic or fear that can affect your everyday life physically and psychologically. Why do parents and children battle with back-to-school anxiety? Jade McLellan, deputy head of pastoral at St Dunstan’s College believes anxiety is a feeling of worry or fear, that for most people, can be momentary, mild or manageable. But for others, it can be constant, overwhelming or debilitating.“Whether there have been holidays in the UK or abroad, or complicated childcare arrangements to navigate while parents continue working, the chances are that your child has had to adapt to a different regime over the holidays and the thought of early starts and late finishes at school can seem daunting. “Schools can be overwhelming environments: noisy, bright, busy and exhausting. If your child has spent the summer in a small family unit, returning to be one of 500 or 1,500 children comes as a shock to the system,” McLellan said.“For some children, particularly neurodiverse children, any form of change can induce anxiety, so the transition into the summer holidays and the transition back to school can both cause anxiety. “On the parent-side, the intense organisation required to manage the school routine, with fitting in pick-up and drop-off around work, remembering letters, trips, non-uniform days and navigating tired children with homework deadlines can all cause parents to feel anxious.”What signs should parents look out for when it comes to anxiety? There are a wide number of signs of anxiety. “Signs of anxiety can be demonstrated in a number of ways, such as complaining of a bad tummy or an illness that isn’t really there, behavioural changes or tantrums, saying no to everything, loss of appetite and lots of tears for no reason,” said parenting expert Amanda Jenner. McLellan adds: “Some are obvious, such as biting nails, becoming quiet, or struggling to sleep or eat. However, anxious children can also lash out and become angry, withdraw socially, suffer from unexplained stomach aches or headaches, or even experience panic attacks.”How can parents battle back-to-school anxiety? Ryan Lockett, a former secondary school head of year and now director of studies at TLC LIVE, a tutoring company for schools, believes it all starts with practising good organisational skills. “Walk to the school. It can ease anxiety if they remind themselves of the surroundings. Less traffic and fewer people will help them feel calmer about the journey,” he said. “Start talking about school, in a positive way. Encouragement and positivity will help a child to feel a sense of excitement and look forward to returning. “Discuss any fears or worries they have and try to address them before the return. It may well be as simple as needing a new pencil case because they’re worried about an equipment check on the first day back; it’s an easy one to solve,” he adds. “Make sure any homework or summer tasks have been completed ahead of time. Don’t let this wait until the week before returning. Get it done in good time; it will help reduce anxiety related to incomplete work.” How can children battle back-to-school anxiety? Life coach, educator and therapist Danielle Baron thinks it’s essential for children to equip themselves with the right tools to tackle back-to-school anxiety. “Expressing yourself creatively can be a therapeutic way to cope with anxiety,” Baron said. “Whether it’s journaling, painting, playing a musical instrument, or writing poetry, find an artistic outlet that helps you channel your emotions and thoughts in a positive way.”She adds: “It’s okay to ask for help when you’re feeling anxious. Talk to your parents, teachers, a trusted person or school counsellor about your worries. They can offer guidance, support and resources to help you manage anxiety effectively. “Remember that everyone goes through changes, and it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions; it’s only human. But it is our ability to bounce back quickly that counts.” Are there any resources parents and children can use?There are different online resources children and parents can use, if they need extra support. SilverCloud offer a range of digital CBT programmes for anxious teens. These NICE-approved programmes are free and accessible. Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live Can you grow a lemon tree from a pip? The beginner gardening questions we all want to ask Fraser Franks undergoing heart surgery – four years after ‘hidden’ condition cut short football career 4 viral TikTok make-up trends you’ll actually want to try

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