LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Drew Barrymore was 14 years old when she was legally emancipated from her mother Jaid and allowed to live as an adult in her own apartment. While the major life decision resulted in the drifted the mother-daughter duo further apart amid their already strained relationship, Barrymore eventually re-established a healthy bond with her mother later in life.
More recently, the ‘Charlie’s Angels’ star made news after telling Vulture how celebrities like Jeannette McCurdy and Brooke Shields could lay bare their complicated relationships with their mothers unlike her as “All their moms are gone, and my mom’s not.” While tabloids reported that the actress wished for her mother’s death, Barrymore took to Instagram to ask the media to refrain from twisting her words.
“I have never said that I wished my mother was dead. How dare you put those words in my mouth,” she said. Even in her interview, Barrymore was quick to express regret over her words. “I dared to say it, and I didn’t feel good. I do care. I’ll never not care. I don’t know if I’ve ever known how to fully guard, close off, not feel, build the wall up,” she explained.
A look into Drew Barrymore’s emancipation from her mother
When Barrymore rose to fame as one of the most popular child artists in the 1980s, her mother, Jaid, also became her manager. Jaid was also the person who first took Barrymore to Studio 54 at the age of eight. It was there the-then child actress got her first taste of drugs, which eventually became a habit. By 13, Barrymore already experienced at least two stints at rehab for her drug and alcohol addiction.
Shortly after, the actress was placed in a psychiatric facility after she attempted to take her own life. Following an 18-months stay at the institution, a petition was submitted to the juvenile court for emancipating Barrymore from her mother. The ‘Never Been Kissed’ actress reflected on the time in her 2015 book ‘Wildflower.’ “When I was 14, I was emancipated by the courts. It’s no secret that I had to part ways from my mother because we had driven our relationship into the ground,” she wrote.
“When I turned 14 and wanted to start my life over, I wanted to do things on my own terms. On the day of my hearing, my mother was there in full support of my emancipation, which would mean me living on my own. I felt so sad, but too much had happened,” Barrymore remembered. “The judge walked in and the day went on in a blur. People testified, but it wasn’t heavy or dark. It was a way to ask, ‘Should this kid become an adult?’ At the end of the day, the judge looked at me and said these words, which stuck with me: ‘I can turn the clock forward, but I can never turn it back. Are you ready for that?’ ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘OK,’ he said with a slight smile, ‘I hereby pronounce you an adult,’” the actress recalled.
She further added, “My mom and I hugged, knowing things would be different, but things were always just too different, and that was why this needed to happen. I walked out an 18-year‑old in the eyes of the state of California. This was gonna be fun.” However, Barrymore soon realized living alone as a young teenager was not easy. “First I needed an apartment. I looked all over West Hollywood, my favourite neighbourhood and where I had grown up. I found a place in the back of a building where my friend Justine was living.”
The actress also realized she needed a job as she was no longer acting and eventually found a job at a coffee house. However, “I wasn’t great at my job,” Barrymore wrote. “I had only done two things: acted and had wild life experiences. But neither of those prepares you for the real world,” she admitted. “My apartment was a mess. It smelled like wood from the Ikea pieces I had bought that still lay in their boxes, and my fridge was a science project,” she shared.
“I only had takeout cartons that had lost their shapes, but much worse, they had all grown spores. I didn’t even know you were supposed to throw them away. I would just place the remains of my meals back in the fridge, next to a half-eaten sandwich,” Barrymore continued. “I was very alone. I needed something to comfort me. I opened a classic novel I had acquired and read myself to sleep. Somewhere around when the sun came up, I felt safe enough to close my eyes, my book right next to me like a stuffed animal or the lover I wasn’t old enough to have,” she mentioned.
Years later, as part of her blog for Mother’s Day 2023, Barrymore visited the Van Nuys Psychiatric facility, where she was placed in a small youth program called ASAP as a young teenager. “It taught me the foundations of telling your truth. Not in a way that made you an immovable person on some high horse, but your story Your feelings. Your faults. Your hopes and wishes. Your hurts. What and where you wanted to get to in life,” the actress wrote in her post.
“And -- very important -- who was going to help you on your path and who would you have to let go. For me, at the end and when I got out, it was my mother,” she continued. She also remembered her emancipation and said, “When I got emancipated by the courts at 14 years old, the umbilical cord was severed, and I have not been the same since. It was necessary for me to step away and start to become my own person. And at the age of 14, my own parent.”
‘I can't turn my back on the person who gave me my life’
Despite having a troubled childhood and wild years as a youth, Barrymore not only managed to turn her life and career around but was also successful is rebuilding a healthy relationship with her mother. The actress, who is now a mother-of-two, once told People she will always be there for her mother despite their history. “I will always support her. I can't turn my back on the person who gave me my life. I can't do it. It would hurt me so much. I would find it so cruel. But there are times where I've realized that our chemistry and behavior will drum up a feeling in me where I have to say, ‘Okay, I need a break again.’” the Golden Globe Award winner shared.
While working on their relationship, the duo established a “a lot of boundaries,” which proved to be healthy. “And we've taken many pauses in our lives. Healthy pauses, I'm like, friends need to do it, life-longers need to do it, this is where we're at,” Barrymore revealed. The actress also mentioned that she is much more confident about setting the limits now as compared to her past.
“The more time goes by and the older I get, the less guilt and corrosive toxic shame and just absolute discomfort comes with it,” she said. “The more you sort of go, ‘My God I'm going to be 48, when does that guilty little girl that's still so sad that I don't have this amazing nuclear relationship with my family, when does that become okay?’” she told the outlet. Barrymore also said she will always feel a “cosmic, magnetic pull” to her parents. “It comes with so much emotionality and so much sort of burning desire to get right or heal or figure out,” she mentioned.
As part of her recent Vulture interview, part of which was conducted before Mother's Day, Barrymore revealed she recently texted her mother a simple "happy birthday" message and the responded by saying she was proud of her daughter. The actress also mentioned that she was eventually able to forgive both her parents even though she is yet to forgive her own past self. “I was really excited I could tell you I’ve done some serious work and I do feel different. I forgive my mom. I forgive my dad. I’ve never forgiven myself, but I’d like to, and I’m ready to.” Barrymore, who currently hosts the hit ‘The Drew Barrymore Show', continues to financially support her mother to the day.
